Nostalgia and Setbacks

So I had this sudden urge to look through my yearbook from my senior year in high school. Boy, that made me nostalgic. I had so many friends back then. And now I can count on one hand the number of friends that I have. It's pathetic how much of a loner I am. I also took part in different things, from band, to color guard, to different clubs. And now that I'm out of high school, barely in college, and working all the time, I'm not a part of anything. If I could go back in time I would. I was pretty content with everything. I wish I knew back then how good things really were, and that everything would just go downhill from there.

College was supposed to be so much more than it turned out to be. Granted, I went to the college that I wanted to be at for only one year before losing all my scholarships and having to take a year off to work. Now I mostly work and I take classes at a local community college that I always said I would NEVER go to. Never say never, right? I should be in my last year of undergraduate studies, but I'm not even close to getting my Associate's. How sad is that? Can you say failure?

I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself because I'm getting there. Just very slowly. The odds just have not been in my favor when it comes to school. I so badly wanted to take more than one class this semester, but 1) I couldn't afford it, and 2) my mom and I are having to share a vehicle, so there would be no way for me to be able to make it to classes. So I'm taking one online class, which I'm doing really well in. If I have to continue taking one class a semester though, I'll be 50 by the time I get my stupid Associate's. And I'll never make it to my Bachelor's. And I'd be working at Walgreen's forever. That would be super depressing.

I should try harder to think more positively. It's just difficult. I don't do well when things don't go according to plan. And it just seems that lately, nothing seems to go as planned. School, men, work. Everything.

But life goes on.
And on.
And on.



Until you die.