I'm all moved in at UCA now, and I've been here for about a month now. I'm mostly liking it so far. College life is great. I love the freedom and all that, but I do have to say that I miss my family and my kitty.
My classes are pretty cool. I absolutely LOVE my biology class. That's probably my favorite class I have this semester. I'm pretty much a geek. :) I think my hardest class is going to be chemistry. I'm hoping that as long as I take notes and study, I'll do good. As far as my other classes go...I'm pretty sure they'll be pretty easy.
My birthday was last weekend, and it was pretty good. I got to go home, and spend the weekend with my family and Jordan. I went shopping with my mom, who bought me the cutest little Coach purse ever and some clothes (from both of my parents), and Jordan got me a camera that I loveee. :)
The hardest thing about college so far is being on the UCA guard. I knew it was going to be hard when I first tried out, but I never imagined it would be this hard. Like...I come out of practice every day feeling like crap. I'm always messing something up or falling behind or doing something wrong. I feel like flag comes so naturally to everyone else on the guard, but I have to work my butt off just to be near the same level as the rest of the line. Even then, I have work I need to fix or get up to speed or whatever. It's so frustrating, and I feel like no matter how hard I work, I will never be good enough. And there is this one person who is just freaking perfect at everything guard, and they never fail to let me know how much I suck and how much I still need to work on. I get that they want me to be good. But always calling me out and embarrassing me in front of the rest of the guard is not the way to make me better. Yes, I know that I need to work on my stuff, and I am! You don't have to be such a bully ALL THE TIME. Plus...the negativity doesn't help. It doesn't make us better. It makes everyone feel like crap. How about we try some positive reinforcement every once in a while? Like telling us when we do something good instead of letting it go unnoticed. Saying, "Hey, you guys did good on this part, but this other part needs some work" would do sooo much more than basically telling us we suck and we need to get our crap together if we want to stay on the line. Believe me, all this negativity and bitchy-ness just makes people not like you. And everyone gets tired of it.
If you can't tell...guard has really upset me. I don't even know how many times I've cried because of it. And I'm usually pretty tough. And I'm stubborn, so even if something gets really hard or frustrating, I just get angry and try to make it work. But all of this crap just makes me feel soooo weak. There have been so many times that I've just wanted to quit and give up. I'm lucky to have my parents and my boyfriend, because they are the only reason I've made it this far. But there's still quite a bit of time left in the season, and 2 more shows left to learn. And I do feel like I'm susceptible to breaking at any moment during rehearsals, just from all the stress. I'm just hoping I can still make it through.
Excess aid came in, and I went shopping. :) And today Jordan and I went out to eat and to see Contagious, which was a pretty good movie. I had never heard of it before today. But that's because I don't watch television, so I never see previews for new movies or anything like that. Anyway, the movie was good. I think it's worth going to see, for anyone who is considering seeing it. :)
I still have so much that I could write, but I'm pretty tired right now. So I am going to go to bed, and everything else on my mind can go into another blog post, another day. Goodnight. :)
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| In my dorm, using the camera my boyfriend got for me! :) |