My heart is beating fast, and the only emotions I'm able to feel right now are worry and nervousness. And I just want to cry. I don't even know why. This is what has happened lately, every time I think about the future. I used to have everything planned out. But now I just don't know what's in store for me.
I think right now, the biggest thing is that I'm afraid of falling for anyone. I'm kind of recently single, after being in a long-ish relationship. And I'm just now figuring out this whole dating thing again. I'm afraid of setting myself up for disappointment and of getting hurt. So, even if I start liking someone, I push myself away from them, to protect myself. I don't want to give my heart to someone, just to have it broken and given back to me. I get emotional, and I get attached to people easily. And I start to really care about the people I'm with. I'm just...scared of getting hurt, and also of hurting people. I don't want anything serious with anyone right now, but I'm afraid that any kind-of relationship that I might have with someone might turn into more than what I can handle.
That's not all that's on my mind, but it's a lot of it. I'm also worried about small things like the fact that I should be in French 1 instead of French 2, because French 2 makes me feel stupid. I'm always so lost in that class. And I'm starting to really feel the stress from the rest of my classes, more specifically my science ones. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to make it through the semester. I have this big dream to be a dentist and all that, but in reality, I'm not sure if I'll even make it into a dental school.
These are the types of things that keep me from sleeping. I think so damn much, and I over analyze almost everything.
Despite the freaking awesome weekend I had, I feel like I'm falling into my depression again. Maybe it's just something about tonight, and I'll be fine tomorrow. But all I've felt like doing tonight is crying. I guess I should try to get some sleep. And hope that tomorrow will be better. Goodnight, all.