I have a dream.

Anybody who knows me well knows that my ultimate goal is to become a dentist. When I tell people this I usually get responses along the lines of "Ew, why would you want to clean teeth for a living?" Well, the thing is, being a dentist is so much more than cleaning teeth. Technically, the dentist isn't even the one who cleans the teeth; that's the dental hygienists job.

I've had a lot of dental work done... Like, thousands of dollars worth of dental work. Thank goodness that my mom has AMAZING dental insurance. But anyway, the thing is every time I have had work done at the dentist's office, I walk out holding my head a little bit higher. My dentist and my orthodontist have both given me soo much more self confidence, and helped me feel so much prettier. And I would love to be able to do that for other people. I want to help them become more confident, and I want to help them become happy with their teeth. I don't want any of my future patients to be afraid to truly smile because they are embarrassed of their teeth.

Also, once I am a successful dentist, I want to travel to underprivileged countries and offer free dental care to those that don't usually have the opportunity to go see a dentist when they need to. I've been asked before: "Why would you offer free dental care to other countries when people in your own country don't have dental care?" Well, my answer to this is that in the US, there are opportunities for people to get dental care if they can't afford it. In many third world countries, people don't have that chance. And that's where I will come in. I'll be that change. I'll travel to places that truly need a skilled dentist to help their people with a toothache or a cavity or a chipped tooth. And I'll teach people about good dental hygiene to keep their mouths healthy.

To do this, I'm going to have to finish up 4 years of undergrad schooling, and then I'll have 4 years of dental school. And my goal is to go to New York University College of Dentistry to get my D.D.S.. I might actually transfer to NYU my junior year so I can get a feel for the city, and so I'll be closer to the College of Dentistry when it comes time to apply and go through the interview process and all that. It will be really hard. And I know I'll have times when I doubt my ability to get accepted or to make it through. But when I get down on myself, I just have to remind myself exactly why I am doing this. I'll go look in the mirror at my smile, and I'll remember just what it is that I want to give to other people. And I'll just keep going. I won't stop.

I will be a successful dentist.
I will give other people the confidence that they lack.
I will give to those that are in need.
I will achieve my goals.
I have a dream, and nothing is going to get in my way.



This is the background on my computer,
so I can look at it every day and remember why I'm here.



11/23/2011

Well, I'm home for Thanksgiving break. :)
I'm so happy to be with my family and my kitties, and to get to see all of my friends. This is most definitely a much needed break. While I type this, I'm watching a movie called No Looking Back. It's a romance movie, just something random that I found on Netflix. I've only gotten about 20 minutes into the movie, and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it yet. It isn't quite catching my full attention. Anyway, I've just got a lot running through my head right now. So I'm going to make a list. I like lists. :)

Things On My Mind:
1) I don't like sleeping alone. I like at least having someone in the same room with me while I'm sleeping, even if it's just my kitty.
2) When I'm older, I want a really nice house. And, I want a really awesome kitchen. And no, not because I'm a woman and that's where women spend all their time. Haha. I love baking. And I want somewhere nice and roomie where I can make amazing cakes and cookies and all that.
3) Speaking of baking, I've decided if my dream of becoming a dentist doesn't happen, then maybe I'll try to become a baker. But...hopefully my dentistry dream works out.
4) The 2 things I'm most attracted to in a guy are their eyes, and their teeth.
5) My four favorite music artists are Ellie Goulding, Josh Groban, Chase Coy, and Ke$ha.
6) I want a romance like one in a movie. I want to be with someone that I'm totally completely in love with, and they're totally completely in love with me. I want a relationship where when there are problems, just a single kiss makes everything better. I want to be truly happy with someone, and I want them to be happy with me. I want to be somebody's everything.
7) I hate parents who abandon their kids, and leave them without a mom, or without a dad, or even without anyone. I think every child deserves to have a loving mom and dad who care completely about them.
8) I love Christmas.
9) I've realized how much I've changed since I went to college. For the better, or for the worse, I'm not sure. But, since the only thing constant in life is change, I guess I should embrace it. And if I end up not liking who I've become, I guess I'll figure it out then.
10) I want a dog.
11) I want to travel the world. I know that's something everybody says they want to do. It's so cliche. But I want to live my life to the fullest. I want to explore everywhere. Not just France and Germany and all the places that everyone wants to go. I want to travel to Africa and Asia and just...everywhere.
12) I hope I'm still pretty when I get old.
13) I love thunderstorms when I'm falling asleep, unless they are loud and scary.
14) I want to live life with no regrets. Life is too short to have regrets. <3

This is real. This is me. This is exactly who I'm supposed to be.

I lost myself.
I just wasn't me anymore.
I let a relationship, and the person I was in the relationship with, change me. Change who I was.
But I'm back. I'm me again. And oh, how I have missed myself.

Never again, am I going to let someone change me. While I was in this relationship, I became more and more introverted and antisocial. I only hung out with this ONE person. And it was really getting me down. It made me...depressed. I think that's one of the reasons I started feeling so alone at UCA. As much as I hate to say it, that person was holding me back, and taking away my personality. And I let them.

But now, I'm free of that grasp. I'm no longer on a leash. I can be myself. I'm SO much happier. And more social. And I don't feel alone. That's pretty ironic, right? That when I had someone, I felt alone. And now that I'm single, I don't feel alone? Yeah. I don't get it either. But all that matters, is that I'm truly happy now. I can...smile. And not just the fake smile that used to be on my face a lot of the time. Now I'm smiling for real.

Anyway, I'm going home tonight. I'm excited. I get to see me baby kitty!! And my family. I'm going out to eat on Saturday night with the fam for my little bro's birthday. Then on Sunday, Dyer and I are going to hang in the morning. And on Sunday night, which I'm most excited for...I'm going to hang out with Taylor, whom I haven't seen in a long time. It's going to be a lovely night.

Right now, I'm sitting here smiling like an idiot. For no reason, at all, except that I'm happy. I'm honestly, truly, happy.

Hello, world. I'm back. :)

11.16.2011

I have exactly a week until I get to go home for Thanksgiving break! I'm super totally pumped, because this break will be filled with seeing my family and my kitty, eating yummy food, baking, and hanging out with some pretty awesome people. And shopping! OH. And I won't have to stress about school and everything going on here. That's a major plus. It will be a break much needed. :)

So marching band is pretty much over for the season. I have very few practices left, and they are only for one hour periods, and not even 3 days a week. Although this marching season has been the toughest in my life, it was definitely worth all the pain, sweat, and tears. Being in the BMB has taught me a lot about hard work and dedication. I can't tell you how many times I thought about quitting, but I'm totally glad I didn't.

In a few days I make my schedule up for next semester. I'm looking at Bio I, Chem II, Band, General Psychology, Theater Appreciation, and French. That would put me at 18 hours, which is exactly what I need to keep my scholarships. It's still a pretty full course load, though. I hope I'll be able to handle it.

I've come to the realization that a lot of people in college are stupid. Like the guys who yell "AY GIRL" at every girl in the dorm across the way that has their window open. Yeah... So. Mature.

Is it weird that I dream about meeting Josh Groban? Because it's happened a few times. No joke. Like that's my biggest wish, is to meet him and see him live. His voice, is just the best thing ever.It makes me smile every time I hear it. And if I saw him live, I would just DIE. Seriously.

Tomorrow is the last day of the semester that I'm going to have a 9 am class on MWF. The rest of the semester, my earliest class will be at 11. I'm excited to get to sleep in. :)

My thoughts are always so random.

Anyway, I need to sleep. I'm excited I get to listen to the rain while I fall asleep. Goodnight! :)