Ahhhhh! I'm sick. :(
But that's ok. It's not anything bad. Just a chest cold. I'll get over it soon.
Today was a great day. Nothing super exciting happened, but I was just in a wonderful mood all day. Plus, the weather was super nice, and I looked super cute. So everything was good. :)
My suitemate, Em-J, was sad that I have never mentioned her in my blog. So, here we go. Em-J is probably one of the best friends I've made since I've come to college. We met in guard at the beginning of the year, but only really became close recently. We definitely have a friendship that we'll remember for a very long time. We are SO crazy together. We always do the most. ;)
....Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass!
There you go Em-Jiz...Jeezy. Happy? :P
Anyway, I've got a theatre appreciation paper to write! Peaceee.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
Change in Perspective
I've decided...it's time for change.
I feel myself falling into my depression again. I've been under so much stress, and it has been consuming me. And to be honest, I haven't been dealing with it the right way. I've been trying to ignore it by partying a lot, and just hoping that all my problems would go away on their own.
So for starters, I'm changing up my blog a bit. I already changed my layout, because I was getting kind of tired of the old one. But I'm changing more than just the appearance. I've been using my blog as a way to...vent, I guess you could say. I was writing only when I was pissed off at the world. I'm going to try to start posting happier stuff. Whether it's something exciting that happened during the day, or something that inspires me, I'm going to try to start focusing on the positive more than the negative.
A lot of my stress is coming from school. I think, if I study more so I'm more confident in my knowledge of the material from each of my classes, and if I'm prepared every day, I'll be more at ease throughout the week. I also need to stop procrastinating. I do that way too much, and it just adds on to the stress.
And lastly, I'm going to start takin a little more time in the mornings to get ready, so I feel more confident in how I look every day. If I don't feel like I look like crap, then I'll be happier.
I'm hoping that these changes will help me keep from becoming depressed. If not, then I'll probably start going to talk to a counselor again. I want to be healthy in every aspect of the word. Mentally, emotionally, physically.
Well, tomorrow is a new day. Although it's my longest day of the week, I'm going to make what I can of it. :) Goodnight, world. <3
I feel myself falling into my depression again. I've been under so much stress, and it has been consuming me. And to be honest, I haven't been dealing with it the right way. I've been trying to ignore it by partying a lot, and just hoping that all my problems would go away on their own.
So for starters, I'm changing up my blog a bit. I already changed my layout, because I was getting kind of tired of the old one. But I'm changing more than just the appearance. I've been using my blog as a way to...vent, I guess you could say. I was writing only when I was pissed off at the world. I'm going to try to start posting happier stuff. Whether it's something exciting that happened during the day, or something that inspires me, I'm going to try to start focusing on the positive more than the negative.
A lot of my stress is coming from school. I think, if I study more so I'm more confident in my knowledge of the material from each of my classes, and if I'm prepared every day, I'll be more at ease throughout the week. I also need to stop procrastinating. I do that way too much, and it just adds on to the stress.
And lastly, I'm going to start takin a little more time in the mornings to get ready, so I feel more confident in how I look every day. If I don't feel like I look like crap, then I'll be happier.
I'm hoping that these changes will help me keep from becoming depressed. If not, then I'll probably start going to talk to a counselor again. I want to be healthy in every aspect of the word. Mentally, emotionally, physically.
Well, tomorrow is a new day. Although it's my longest day of the week, I'm going to make what I can of it. :) Goodnight, world. <3
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Week of Lame
This week was the most stressful week I've had in a really long time. Like, seriously. It just seemed that thing after thing kept coming at me, and I honestly don't know how I made it through.
For starters, I had 3 tests this week. Biology, French, and Theatre Appreciation. I could have done better on my bio test, which was on Tuesday. But, oh well, I guess. Then I stayed up so late studying Tuesday night, that I set my alarm an hour later than I should have, so I missed my French test on Wednesday. Luckily, I was able to make it up, but even so, I don't think it would have mattered much even if I didn't make it up. That was the worst test of my LIFE. I'm pretty sure I got like... a 2%. At least my Theatre test was mostly easy.
There was a blood drive at UCA on Wednesday, and I was soooo excited about giving blood. But I was So. Damn. Nervous. I hate needles, but I was so willing to try to get over that if it meant doing something good that could potentially save a life. Unfortunately, I was turned away, for one of the stupidest reasons ever. My pulse was too high. Of course my heart was beating fast because of my nervousness, which I think was intensified by like, 20 from my anxiety. So of course my heart was racing. Why the heck would that mean that I couldn't give blood? Boo.
And, to top off my crappy week, I got some bad medical news on Friday. It's not really something I want to talk about on here though. I'm just...super bummed, and slightly worried about what I found out at the doctor yesterday. Hopefully this doesn't turn into something really bad.
At least I got to come home for the weekend, and see my baby kitties and my little puppy. Haha and my family, who I love and miss very much. Plus, I got to hang out with one of my friends, Anthony, that I haven't seen since we graduated, and who I've missed. It was really nice to be able to chill out and catch up. It seems like nothing changed. It was even like we hadn't even gone months without seeing or talking to each other. No awkwardness, which was nice. :)
Too bad I have to go back to Conway tomorrow. Boo. I guess I should get some sleep though. I'm super tired, and I have stuff to do in the morning. Goodnight, all.
For starters, I had 3 tests this week. Biology, French, and Theatre Appreciation. I could have done better on my bio test, which was on Tuesday. But, oh well, I guess. Then I stayed up so late studying Tuesday night, that I set my alarm an hour later than I should have, so I missed my French test on Wednesday. Luckily, I was able to make it up, but even so, I don't think it would have mattered much even if I didn't make it up. That was the worst test of my LIFE. I'm pretty sure I got like... a 2%. At least my Theatre test was mostly easy.
There was a blood drive at UCA on Wednesday, and I was soooo excited about giving blood. But I was So. Damn. Nervous. I hate needles, but I was so willing to try to get over that if it meant doing something good that could potentially save a life. Unfortunately, I was turned away, for one of the stupidest reasons ever. My pulse was too high. Of course my heart was beating fast because of my nervousness, which I think was intensified by like, 20 from my anxiety. So of course my heart was racing. Why the heck would that mean that I couldn't give blood? Boo.
And, to top off my crappy week, I got some bad medical news on Friday. It's not really something I want to talk about on here though. I'm just...super bummed, and slightly worried about what I found out at the doctor yesterday. Hopefully this doesn't turn into something really bad.
At least I got to come home for the weekend, and see my baby kitties and my little puppy. Haha and my family, who I love and miss very much. Plus, I got to hang out with one of my friends, Anthony, that I haven't seen since we graduated, and who I've missed. It was really nice to be able to chill out and catch up. It seems like nothing changed. It was even like we hadn't even gone months without seeing or talking to each other. No awkwardness, which was nice. :)
Too bad I have to go back to Conway tomorrow. Boo. I guess I should get some sleep though. I'm super tired, and I have stuff to do in the morning. Goodnight, all.
Monday, January 30, 2012
1/30/2012
My heart is beating fast, and the only emotions I'm able to feel right now are worry and nervousness. And I just want to cry. I don't even know why. This is what has happened lately, every time I think about the future. I used to have everything planned out. But now I just don't know what's in store for me.
I think right now, the biggest thing is that I'm afraid of falling for anyone. I'm kind of recently single, after being in a long-ish relationship. And I'm just now figuring out this whole dating thing again. I'm afraid of setting myself up for disappointment and of getting hurt. So, even if I start liking someone, I push myself away from them, to protect myself. I don't want to give my heart to someone, just to have it broken and given back to me. I get emotional, and I get attached to people easily. And I start to really care about the people I'm with. I'm just...scared of getting hurt, and also of hurting people. I don't want anything serious with anyone right now, but I'm afraid that any kind-of relationship that I might have with someone might turn into more than what I can handle.
That's not all that's on my mind, but it's a lot of it. I'm also worried about small things like the fact that I should be in French 1 instead of French 2, because French 2 makes me feel stupid. I'm always so lost in that class. And I'm starting to really feel the stress from the rest of my classes, more specifically my science ones. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to make it through the semester. I have this big dream to be a dentist and all that, but in reality, I'm not sure if I'll even make it into a dental school.
These are the types of things that keep me from sleeping. I think so damn much, and I over analyze almost everything.
Despite the freaking awesome weekend I had, I feel like I'm falling into my depression again. Maybe it's just something about tonight, and I'll be fine tomorrow. But all I've felt like doing tonight is crying. I guess I should try to get some sleep. And hope that tomorrow will be better. Goodnight, all.
I think right now, the biggest thing is that I'm afraid of falling for anyone. I'm kind of recently single, after being in a long-ish relationship. And I'm just now figuring out this whole dating thing again. I'm afraid of setting myself up for disappointment and of getting hurt. So, even if I start liking someone, I push myself away from them, to protect myself. I don't want to give my heart to someone, just to have it broken and given back to me. I get emotional, and I get attached to people easily. And I start to really care about the people I'm with. I'm just...scared of getting hurt, and also of hurting people. I don't want anything serious with anyone right now, but I'm afraid that any kind-of relationship that I might have with someone might turn into more than what I can handle.
That's not all that's on my mind, but it's a lot of it. I'm also worried about small things like the fact that I should be in French 1 instead of French 2, because French 2 makes me feel stupid. I'm always so lost in that class. And I'm starting to really feel the stress from the rest of my classes, more specifically my science ones. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to make it through the semester. I have this big dream to be a dentist and all that, but in reality, I'm not sure if I'll even make it into a dental school.
These are the types of things that keep me from sleeping. I think so damn much, and I over analyze almost everything.
Despite the freaking awesome weekend I had, I feel like I'm falling into my depression again. Maybe it's just something about tonight, and I'll be fine tomorrow. But all I've felt like doing tonight is crying. I guess I should try to get some sleep. And hope that tomorrow will be better. Goodnight, all.
Monday, November 28, 2011
I have a dream.
Anybody who knows me well knows that my ultimate goal is to become a dentist. When I tell people this I usually get responses along the lines of "Ew, why would you want to clean teeth for a living?" Well, the thing is, being a dentist is so much more than cleaning teeth. Technically, the dentist isn't even the one who cleans the teeth; that's the dental hygienists job.
I've had a lot of dental work done... Like, thousands of dollars worth of dental work. Thank goodness that my mom has AMAZING dental insurance. But anyway, the thing is every time I have had work done at the dentist's office, I walk out holding my head a little bit higher. My dentist and my orthodontist have both given me soo much more self confidence, and helped me feel so much prettier. And I would love to be able to do that for other people. I want to help them become more confident, and I want to help them become happy with their teeth. I don't want any of my future patients to be afraid to truly smile because they are embarrassed of their teeth.
Also, once I am a successful dentist, I want to travel to underprivileged countries and offer free dental care to those that don't usually have the opportunity to go see a dentist when they need to. I've been asked before: "Why would you offer free dental care to other countries when people in your own country don't have dental care?" Well, my answer to this is that in the US, there are opportunities for people to get dental care if they can't afford it. In many third world countries, people don't have that chance. And that's where I will come in. I'll be that change. I'll travel to places that truly need a skilled dentist to help their people with a toothache or a cavity or a chipped tooth. And I'll teach people about good dental hygiene to keep their mouths healthy.
To do this, I'm going to have to finish up 4 years of undergrad schooling, and then I'll have 4 years of dental school. And my goal is to go to New York University College of Dentistry to get my D.D.S.. I might actually transfer to NYU my junior year so I can get a feel for the city, and so I'll be closer to the College of Dentistry when it comes time to apply and go through the interview process and all that. It will be really hard. And I know I'll have times when I doubt my ability to get accepted or to make it through. But when I get down on myself, I just have to remind myself exactly why I am doing this. I'll go look in the mirror at my smile, and I'll remember just what it is that I want to give to other people. And I'll just keep going. I won't stop.
I will be a successful dentist.
I will give other people the confidence that they lack.
I will give to those that are in need.
I will achieve my goals.
I have a dream, and nothing is going to get in my way.
I've had a lot of dental work done... Like, thousands of dollars worth of dental work. Thank goodness that my mom has AMAZING dental insurance. But anyway, the thing is every time I have had work done at the dentist's office, I walk out holding my head a little bit higher. My dentist and my orthodontist have both given me soo much more self confidence, and helped me feel so much prettier. And I would love to be able to do that for other people. I want to help them become more confident, and I want to help them become happy with their teeth. I don't want any of my future patients to be afraid to truly smile because they are embarrassed of their teeth.
Also, once I am a successful dentist, I want to travel to underprivileged countries and offer free dental care to those that don't usually have the opportunity to go see a dentist when they need to. I've been asked before: "Why would you offer free dental care to other countries when people in your own country don't have dental care?" Well, my answer to this is that in the US, there are opportunities for people to get dental care if they can't afford it. In many third world countries, people don't have that chance. And that's where I will come in. I'll be that change. I'll travel to places that truly need a skilled dentist to help their people with a toothache or a cavity or a chipped tooth. And I'll teach people about good dental hygiene to keep their mouths healthy.
To do this, I'm going to have to finish up 4 years of undergrad schooling, and then I'll have 4 years of dental school. And my goal is to go to New York University College of Dentistry to get my D.D.S.. I might actually transfer to NYU my junior year so I can get a feel for the city, and so I'll be closer to the College of Dentistry when it comes time to apply and go through the interview process and all that. It will be really hard. And I know I'll have times when I doubt my ability to get accepted or to make it through. But when I get down on myself, I just have to remind myself exactly why I am doing this. I'll go look in the mirror at my smile, and I'll remember just what it is that I want to give to other people. And I'll just keep going. I won't stop.
I will be a successful dentist.
I will give other people the confidence that they lack.
I will give to those that are in need.
I will achieve my goals.
I have a dream, and nothing is going to get in my way.
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